I would just like to share another note I wrote for Facebook.
In this midst of all of my love bombing this week, I ended up having a fantastic conversation with a good friend of mine in which I discussed my fews on feelings, perfection, and leadership stemming from my own understanding of the theatrical realm. I wanted to share these thoughts and my friend game me the okay. So I have organized them into a clearer format and copied and pasted them below.
"Don't ever feel sorry for how you feel because regardless of whether or not it is "right" for you to feel sad or angry or upset or defensive, the fact of the matter is that those are your feelings. They are reflection of the truth behind your thoughts and memories in a period in time. Those feelings belong to you.
When you are hurt it doesn't matter if it is right for you to feel that way or not because the fact of the matter is whether or not it is right it won't change the feeling. Struggling against the feeling is like trying to deny that you have been stabbed. You will only work to strengthen the pain if you ignore it.
Now, that being said, while it doesn't matter whether or not it is right for you to be hurt, it does matter whether or not the actions you take in response to the hurt are right.
Also, sometimes people are filled with a profound sense of duty. If someone gives them a task they take it upon themselves to complete that task perfectly (or at least to the best of their abilities). However sometimes perfection can be a limitation in an of itself. By creating standards that we believe we must fulfill, we end up eliminating the possibilities of all of the wondrous events that can emerge from the mistakes and detours and trials that we do not want to face.
Furthermore, sometimes if we set our goals within perfection in mind, and know the ends which we need to achieve, we can forget that certain means that we may choose to use to achieve said goals undermine other important aspects of the journey. For instance:
Let’s examine the idea of working on a theatrical production with a group of people. Whether it be a 24-Hour Play Fest or a Broadway musical, every member of the production team has a responsibility as an artist to create a product that they are selling to an audience. The end goal of the whole team should be to perfect this product as much as possible. By doing this they share an experience with the audience that creates life long memories and affects the audience in some way. The show may offer them a window into a world they might not have experienced. It may cause them to think in new or different ways. However, we must not also forget that being on a team in the theatrical realm is not too different from being on any other team.
Yes, everyone has specific responsibilities and, yes, people should be reminded to respect each other and do their jobs. However, cohesion and morale are just as important. When people are happier they work better and the team is looking for an experience as well.
If we keep in mind the fact that lives are not equal in the sense of the fact that you cannot trade one for another, but that everyone is equal in the sense that they all deserve happiness, respect, kindness, compassion, and love then we realize that the happiness of the entire team is just as important as the happiness of the audience.
Now, that being said, people are not perfect. Egos and frustration and anger do get in the way and words are sometimes thrown wildly and randomly at people who really did not cause the harm.
However, a truly good leader is not so much of a loud commander as a quiet, patient, and flexible problem solver, one who must learn to look past the egos when they are confronted, but who also must know when to grill someone about the lack of kindness and respect they are showing others. A good leader also knows when to be flexible if someone is late or doesn't have the normal energy that they usually do because unfortunately we do not have a window into everyone's soul.
All people are much deeper than we give them credit for, whether they know it or not.
You will never know every incident affecting a person at any given moment. Sometimes a simple reminder not to be late might be the 100th thing that they have heard that they have done wrong that day. It may be the tiny thing that sets them over the edge.
Now, I would like to get to the point that not only does the audience matter and the team matter but also the leader matters. You cannot do your best to share happiness and love and kindness or help others if you are not kind to yourself. This is something I am also still learning to do. It is a simple idea really. Of course it is hard to be easy on someone when you haven't slept in days and you are at your wits end.
In cases such as this I urge you to push through and try to provide those around you the support they need, but as soon as you are done make sure to take care of yourself.
Do something that relaxes and renews you so that you can be stronger the next day.
Finally, remember that the heart is a muscle. Don't expect to go from exhaustion one day to selling your car to feed the homeless the next. We get better at being kind to others by starting with small acts of kindness. Tell someone you appreciate them or give someone chocolate. Then work your way up."
I don't know if these thoughts will be of use to anyone else, but feel free to use this advice if you so see fit.
In any case, I hope you have all been well. Please let me know if any of you need anything.
Much love to all of you.
Namaste and goodnight,
Luna
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